Preface - My Book (why didn’t I die?)
PREFACE
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor E. Frankl
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” — J.K. Rowling
Why didn’t I die?
It’s a question I’ve asked myself countless times.
Like most of us in this world, I have hit some rock bottoms. I’ve lived through addiction, despair, and moments so dark that it felt impossible to see a way out. Moments that should’ve been my end. Yet, here I am. Not because I was lucky. Not because I deserved it. But because something kept me alive—a purpose I couldn’t yet see.
This book is my attempt to give that purpose meaning.
But let’s be clear—this book isn’t just about me. It’s about you.
It’s for the addict who thinks they’ve gone too far. For the parent who feels helpless, watching someone they love self-destruct. For the friend desperate to understand. For the athlete struggling to find themselves. For the warriors out there, fighting to get stronger—not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. And for the kid who feels completely alone, staring at a future that feels empty.
This book is for me. It’s for the kids out there who have nothing—no vision, no goals, no idea what their life could be. It’s for the people who are disconnected, lost, searching for something real. It’s for the ones who want to understand, who want to fight, who want to learn about themselves and what they can do to change their lives.
And to answer the question—why didn’t I die?
I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m still here, putting these words on paper. I don’t know much of anything.
But what I do know is this: I’m not doing nothing.
I’m not a fan of simple autobiographies. This isn’t just another drug memoir. I take a lot of pride in what I do now. To this day, I am a drug abuse counselor, and I take this work seriously. I believe I’m one of the best bottom-up drug counselors out there. My approach? The body comes first. The body is the foundation. If you can get comfortable in your body through fitness, then you can start working on the mind. Then you can start working on the spirit.
So this book isn’t just my story—it’s a hand reaching out to you. It’s not just words on a page; it’s a guide filled with practical tools that you can take into your life to change your life.
This book is here to do a few things:
1. To educate. I want to give you real, practical knowledge—whether you’re someone battling addiction, a parent trying to help, or a person seeking to understand. There are ways out, and there are tools that work.
2. To inspire. You will not finish this book the same way you started it. You will feel the fire inside you again—the motivation to fight, to grow, to step into who you are meant to be.
3. To remind you of who the flip you are. Addiction tries to strip you of your identity. This book will help you get it back.
4. To show you that you are not alone. No matter how hopeless it feels, no matter how far gone you think you are—there is a way forward. If you are struggling, there is a way out. If you are a parent, there is hope. No one fights this battle alone.
5. To connect you to something bigger. Recovery is not just about quitting something—it’s about building something. Connection is the opposite of addiction, and this book will help you find that connection again, within yourself and with others.
And I promise you this:
By the time you finish these pages, you will feel motivated.
You will grow in knowledge.
You will build back your confidence.
And you will step closer to becoming the person you were meant to be.
This book is not about me.
This book is about you.
I truly, with every part of me, believe this:
You have a purpose.
I have a purpose.
We all have a purpose.
And when we tap into that purpose, when we stop running from it and instead build something meaningful, the world becomes a very, very beautiful place.
Recovery isn’t about perfection. It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. It’s hard. But it’s worth it. It’s about showing up every day, getting honest with yourself, and deciding to fight. It’s about connection—because the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety; it’s connection. It’s about discovering something greater than yourself and rebuilding from the inside out.
I won’t promise an easy path, but I will tell you this: no matter how far you’ve fallen, you can rise again.
If you take one thing from these pages, let it be this: You are not alone. You are not powerless. There is a way forward.
Let’s get to work.
