“It Is More Dangerous for a Kid to Be Alone in Their Room With Unlimited Online Access Than It Is to Be Under a Bridge With a Homeless Person.”

That sentence stopped me in my tracks the first time I truly sat with it.

It is extreme.

It is uncomfortable.

And in many ways, it is painfully accurate.

I am not saying this to scare you.

I am saying this to wake you up.

My name is Matthew Kurtz. I am a youth drug abuse counselor. I have worked with both adults and teenagers. I am also in recovery myself. I live in these worlds every day. I am not perfect. I do not speak for everyone. I can only speak for my reality and what I have seen through experience, strength, and hope.

And what I have seen over and over again is this.

Unfiltered, unlimited online access is one of the most common doorways into addiction, unhealthy identity, and mediocrity.

Especially for young women.

And especially for young men.

How It Actually Starts

Most people think addiction starts with a bad crowd, a party, or a rebellious phase.

Sometimes it does.

But far more often now, it starts quietly. Alone. In a bedroom. On a phone.

It starts with curiosity.

It starts with attention.

It starts with validation.

It starts with comparison.

It starts with escape.

I hear the stories directly from the kids themselves.

Here is what it sounds like:

“I saw it online.”

“I met them online.”

“I learned about it online.”

“I felt seen online.”

“I felt powerful online.”

“I did not feel enough offline.”

And before long, it turns into acting out. Drugs. Sex. Porn. Manipulation. Risk. Identity confusion. Numbness.

For young women, the dangers are relentless. Predators, validation addiction, body image distortion, attention as currency, and being pursued for the wrong reasons.

For young men, it looks different but just as destructive. Ego, secrecy, porn, gambling, emotional isolation, entitlement, and refusal to admit they have a problem.

Different expressions.

Same root problem.

Disconnection from real self.

When I Was a Teen

I am 34 years old.

When I was 16 or 17, we had one family computer. It stayed in a common area of the house. You had to physically walk over to it to use it. There was built-in visibility. Built-in accountability. Built-in limits.

These kids today carry the entire internet in their pocket.

Twenty-four hours a day.

Alone.

Unfiltered.

Unsupervised.

Untrained.

I cannot even imagine how my journey would have turned out with that kind of constant stimulation, exposure, and temptation.

The Real Question Nobody Likes Asking

This applies to kids and adults.

Are you using the internet?

Or is it using you?

That is the question.

Social media and online access are not inherently evil. Technology has done incredible things for connection, education, and opportunity. I believe the positives can outweigh the negatives.

But only when self-awareness is taught.

Only when boundaries exist.

Only when character is built alongside access.

Without that, the internet does not just inform you.

It forms you.

A Message to Parents

I do not want you to walk away from this afraid.

I want you to walk away aware.

You do not need to spy.

You do need to engage.

Talk about the phone.

Talk about what they see.

Talk about what they feel when they put it down.

Talk about comparison.

Talk about validation.

Talk about sex.

Talk about drugs.

Talk about pressure.

Talk about loneliness.

And most importantly, model the habits you want them to develop.

If your phone controls you, it will control them.

Confidence does not come from control alone. It comes from connection, consistency, and conversation.

A Message to the Kids Reading This

You are not weak for being affected by what you see online.

You are human.

But you are also responsible.

If your screen is shaping your mood, your worth, your patience, your confidence, and your courage, then it is time to step back and ask if it is helping you become who you want to be.

You deserve real confidence.

Real relationships.

Real purpose.

Real strength.

Not borrowed identity from a screen.

My Final Thought

I stand by that opening quote.

Not because homelessness is safe.

Not because life is not dangerous.

But because the most dangerous place for the mind today is often isolation with unlimited access and no guidance.

Fear does not save lives.

Awareness does.

Boundaries do.

Connection does.

Truth does.

And the truth is this.

The internet is either a tool for growth or a weapon against identity.

The direction it goes depends on who is holding it.