Crooked Smiles, Crooked Roads: What J. Cole Taught Me About Fitness, Mental Health, and Becoming Whole
“They tell me I should fix my grill ‘cause I got money now / I ain’t gonna sit around and front like I ain’t thought about it.” — J. Cole, Crooked Smile
I’ve always loved this line. Because whether it’s a grill, a scar, a past mistake, or a relapse — we’ve all got something we think makes us less than. Something crooked. But the truth is, most of us don’t need fixing. We need healing. We need truth. We need purpose.
That’s what this blog is about. Not fixing your smile, but learning to smile through the pain. To sweat through the shame. To move, even when life feels heavy. To chase a different kind of beauty: the kind that comes from doing the work and loving who you’re becoming.
Crooked Smiles Are Just Honest Ones
When J. Cole dropped Crooked Smile, it wasn’t just a message to the beauty industry. It was a love letter to realness. He says:
“Love yourself, girl, or nobody will.”
That lyric alone could be a chapter in my book. I spent years trying to earn my worth through image, performance, and perfection. In addiction, I tried to look strong while I was falling apart. In early recovery, I tried to look healed when I was still grieving the old me. But the truth was: the moment I started being honest about my scars — the pain, the anxiety, the addiction — that’s when I started getting free.
Fitness Without Mental Health Is Just a Mask
I see it all the time. People working out two hours a day, counting macros, hitting goals — but they’re still not happy. Why? Because fitness without mental health is a mask. And mental health without physical effort is incomplete.
When I started lifting, it wasn’t about looking better — it was about building discipline. It was about finding a rhythm that helped me manage my anxiety and gave my racing thoughts somewhere to go. It was about sweating out shame and breathing in purpose. And now I teach that every day — to the youth I work with, to the people in my gym, and in the pages of my book.
You don’t need a six-pack. You need six reasons to wake up and try again.
The Illusion of “Fixing” Yourself
In Crooked Smile, J. Cole also says:
“No need to fix what God already put his paintbrush on.”
That’s spiritual. That’s truth. I used to think recovery was about becoming someone new. But the deeper I got, the more I realized recovery is about remembering who I really am — the version of me before the pain, before the fear, before the false image I had to uphold.
Fitness and mental health, when they’re aligned, help you uncover that. They help you return — not reinvent. Like I say in my book: “Healing is subtraction, not addition. Take away the lies, the shame, the labels — and what’s left is you.”
Three Lessons From Crooked Smile I Carry into the Gym and Into Life:
You don’t need to be perfect to be powerful.
Show up with your scars. They’re part of your story. And stories are what save people — not perfection.Discipline is love.
You don’t train because you hate yourself. You train because you’re finally done abandoning yourself. As I say often: “Routine is self-respect in motion.”Smile anyway.
Some days suck. Some reps are heavy. Some pain is still there. But smile anyway. Not because you’re faking it — but because you’re fighting through it.
Closing Thought
What I love most about J. Cole isn’t just the poetry — it’s the permission. The permission to be human, to be flawed, and to still be chasing greatness.
That’s what I hope my book gives too. Permission. To heal. To struggle. To move. To cry. To show up crooked and still keep climbing.
So whether you’re at the gym today, in a dark place, or just trying to stay consistent — remember this:
“To love yourself is the real revolution.”
That, and a little sweat, might just save your life.
